Saturday, January 14, 2012

my reality

I am continuously falling for men I should steer clear of. What's wrong with me? Why must I punish myself this way? I long for something I can not seem to find. My search is over. I'm letting go. I no longer wish to play this game of which I am the only player. I can't stop this vision within. It's so sure I'll find what I seek. But why? I hate that I'm filled with such a strong conviction .. would it not be easier to turn this heart to stone? There is NO PROOF such a love exists. It only dwells deep within my foolish heart. I long for you my love .. in the inner chambers of my heart. But you deny me over and over again. Where could you be? Why won't you rescue me from this yearning? Why must I suffer all alone? Will I bare this life in solace forever? Dear God .. have you forgotten this heart bleeds like any other? Another tear .. another forced smile .. another night to dream it all again. I lie awake .. don't let this be my reality.

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